by Los Campesinos!

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released October 29, 2013

Performed and arranged by Los Campesinos!
Music: Tom
Words: Gareth

Produced by John Goodmanson and Tom Campesinos!
Recorded at Bryn Derwen Studios, Bethesda and Tom’s house, Cardiff
Mixed by John Goodmanson
Mastered by Mazen Murad at Metropolis

Brass arranged and recorded by Tom at RWCMD, Cardiff, performed by Michael Iles (trumpet) and Craig Walker (trombone)
Strings arranged by Tom, recorded and performed by Phillip Peterson at the House of Breaking Glass, Seattle
‘Avocado, Baby’ features vocals from the ‘Cardiff Cougar Allstars Cheerleaders’.




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Los Campesinos! Cardiff, UK

Official releases from your ex-girlfriend's favourite band.

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Track Name: For Flotsam
You say you are an old cassette that has gone and spilt its spool
you're far more like a wet cardboard tube on this nightclub toilet floor.
As I describe my lonely, you listen very clear:
the last set of goalposts taken down, summer of odd numbered year.

She says "if you're unhappy, then you gotta find the cure"
Well I prescribe me one more beer, beyond that I am unsure
May not be be all and end all, in my defence she is the whole
I've thrown my goalkeeper forward, she's catenaccio

Flotsam, Jetsam and Spindrift: all the girls I have loved,
dumped to earth by a spendthrift, gilt angels from above.
And I saw God in the bathroom, I baptised him in sick
embraced him around his cistern "c'est la mort!, enough of this".

Knees knocking and
Blood flowing so
I want you to know that I want to.

And later she said something that stuck hard in my mind:
"we are their Capel Celyn, they gotta keep their slippers dry,
to empathise with Tory's to invite upon disease,
a safer bet's to pack your bags, go holiday in Eyam"

I will take you where the sun shines, cast shadows on your face,
crawl into their deepest recess, 'til I freeze or dehydrate
We'll live and breathe it in real time, montage is for the dead
and my heart's still doing Fosburys nowhere near finished yet
Track Name: What Death Leaves Behind
I was the first match struck at the first cremation, you are my shallow grave, I'll tend you as a sexton
If you're the casket door that's being slammed upon me, I'll be a plague cross painted on your naked body
Well summer sighed and summoned up hail. Dirty in dish rack drips the holy grail
May be heartslob but I want 'em to know, cut and shut us like a portmanteau
We sit around jus' spitballin', all the witches cackle round my cauldron
Recognise the lies from my poker tongue (is it true...?)

They say you and me are tautology
What grows from the seeds,
can you quite believe?
through cracks come the weeds,
Long time listener, first time caller,
no need to remind me
What death leaves behind me

Why must I lie awake, from dusk until the morning, through fear of bein' impaled upon errant mattress spring?
Within a waking dream I finally made my heel turn, lived life as Super 8 when you were promised Hilton
Propose me as a pardon for sins, led on barbecue I'm burnt offerings
I proof-read the Book of Job for the Lord: edit one, League Cup 2004
We, delicate as a filigree, cleared a place for us in the chicory
Colosseum blood will dry in the sun (is it true...?)

We tread it carefully, we feel around in kid-gloves
What death will leave behind, death will leave behind love
We will flower again, I have surely seen it
Track Name: A Portrait Of The Trequartista As A Young Man
Now is time to take recourse, to drag my bones from 'neath his corpse
Retract the blade within his heart, inscribe our initials in the bark
Of every tree in every woods. In ink red blood, can you imagine?
While wearing his head as a hood. I'd take life for a crime of passion

Lies told

Darling, if I had the choice, I'd excavate his throat of voice
and corrugate his vocal chords to play a tune to please the Lord.
Make him recite this murder ballad, a sombre tune told by a bore
Pump blood around the limp and pallid, harmonising as you snored.

Lies told

One day when I'm older, I'll write it all down
A portrait of the trequartista as a young man

We all know we're gonna die
We're a speck of dust in a bad God's eye
He rubs us clean, but love is blind
A balloon artist kisses porcupine
Track Name: Cemetery Gaits
We lined up there pale, stiff and cold, like racks of bed and breakfast toast
So high up on the slate quarry, that you swore that you could see the coast
I thought I lost you in the dark, only twenty-four feet apart
More stories tightrope on that stare, than the same white line at Meurig Park

The dirt above, the stars below, I watched your face dry cold amid the afterglow
And when they think of you and me, it's clear if you're the doormat, I'm the hickory

Happenstance can wait for tomorrow, 'cause you got to do it right
Your shoulders flow from neck like a wine bottle's, bear them broad tonight
You and I, we consecrate, my heart and all resolve might break
You'll know us by the way we crawl, you'll know us by our cemetery gaits.

Dawn comes, awoken by sheep's bleat, a fleet of hearses line the street
A widow sobs, more widows weep, while we intrude like a widow's peak
I shimmy up the cenotaph, regale with my melancholy
"Two words upon my headstone, please", don't need date or name, just 'Sad Story'

They boast of poets on their side, but what use will they be if this comes to a fight?
I glance along the length of pew and all that I can think's I want to undress you
Track Name: Glue Me
The clouds salivating, drooling from the sky at the thought of the trouble to wreak
'til lightning breached their bellies. Caesarean section washes pigment from every street.
And it's high tide, as the sewers rise, and the drains have become obsolete.
Seems there's no place in this town, for something as pure as you seem.

I'm diving into headers, put this pretty face where the boots are flying in
Been bobbing rotten apples, water to my waist, in a shark-infested bin
People laugh, they will call it folly, but we connected like a Yeboah volley
I'm totting up my worth in stamps, but doing so in second class.

I heard that it hurts, and I said.

Two wrists, two wrist watches, tick-tick-tocking, second hands slightly out of time
A constant subtle reminder, one of us will be gone before bells of the other chime
I requested a room with a view, in the middle of a war between me and you
And leave with all the dignity of missed Panenka penalty

I heard that it hurts, and I said
I'll be gloomy 'til they glue me in the arms of she who loves me
She smiled at a joke, but I said
I'll be gloomy 'til they glue me in the arms of she who loves me
'til the rats and worms are all interned at least 5 feet above we.

Draw me like one of your fence, girls, stood erect as a post, head to toe in creosote
we're blocking out all the lapsed-punks, listen them piss and moan, counting out major notes
Banned from every bar in town, snooker balls a weapon made
Snooker cue held upside down, propelled like helicopter blade

The crowds celebrating, drooling from each side with the thought of the trouble to wreak
And you hear them singing (in every room, from nursery to tomb):
"Ex-boyfriend give us a song, ex-boyfriend, boyfriend give us a song,
ex-boyfriend give us a song, ex-boyfriend, boyfriend give us a song"
Track Name: As Lucerne/The Low
There is no blues that can sound quite as heartfelt as mine
Lamented at the gorge of the river, I watched it weep its banks dry
I hum the sorriest tune on the bar at these dives
Send all the patrons running home to make up with their first wives

My prose as purple but not as pretty as lucerne
For sweet nothings from the lips of a gargoyle, nobody ever yearned
Perpetually a philistine, but darling I am longing to learn
Been looked at like the rotten grape on the vine, while you and yours are drinking Sauternes.

(But the low) is, what I came for
(And to bask) in a darkness I do adore

I am the magpie's solo, the sorrow that makes you salute
Pounding the earth for the early worm, I'm a glutton but it's good for my glutes
I was solace to the sirens, the bait on the fisherman's rod
the hook took me far from my family, but closer to God
Track Name: Avocado, Baby
There's no box to tick for red, so I put down blue instead cos it's closest there's to grey in the categories.
And the veins within the whites are a statement of demise, Doe Eyes you should stay at home licking batteries.
I feel like I'm the host of a terrible game-show and the guests on today's quiz are celebrities.
Won't respond to any clues they're just cracking jokes for views but the answers to these questions mean everything.

I had a friend who, had made a flag day
blood on their hands from shards of a heartbreak
I have known friends to, crack from love's weight
blossom in ribcage, until their backs break
Oh it won't get better, that doesn't mean it's gonna get any worse.
You're final draft'a life-long love letter, signed to the man who will be driving your hearse

Salacia's in the depths, and if I avoid the nets, threaten "I'll cuckold you Neptune" for definite
Meet between the dog and wolf, with the hoar frost underfoot and I'll show you every fire in Delphinus.
May she who casts the first fist of dirt across the casket have mourners lick the mud from her fingernails
'tween the breadth'a your arms span I was a renaissance man, books of lies stacked either side you were my carrell

(A heart of stone, rind so tough it's crazy, that's why they call me the avocado, baby)
Track Name: Let It Spill
I was born atop a Winter's hill, I took form as a ball in the virgin snow
that started on its slow descent, barely more than 27 years ago.
And every ounce my love has grown, I absorbed another flake,
when this avalanche has hit, imagine the mess I will make.

A tidal wave from the tears. Will you toil in the garden to dig a well,
deep to the core of the earth? They'll sob enough to douse all the fires of hell.
I see you with shovel in hand, your skirt billows above your knees,
envy the soil that fills their pores and this perverted breeze.

And I'm full to the brim
Pull me up to your mouth
Let it spill, let it spill
And I'm full to the brim
Flood the North to the South
Let it spill, let it spill
all over us two
I take no solace in coastal breezes cos the quay is sea minor without you

Béla Guttmann of love, curse all my exes to a life of celibacy
and then while you freed the doves, I shot them from the sky for taxidermy.
An every day disaster, a bread and butter tragedy,
I sunk an oil tanker off the shores of Galillee.

You'll find me upside down in the belfry, cos baby I'm bats it is true.
Track Name: The Time Before The Last Time
One last meal as one last gesture
Cheapest wine, second best restaurant
Clapperboard made of two pork chops
Credits roll before the scene stops

And in the shower
Heard your housemate on the phone
Lathered up my padded bones
Lathered up my padded bones
from her soap I foam

The shower-head moaned
And I looked down to the tray
Sons and daughters washed away
Sons and daughters washed away
"Good Night, God Bless" she'd say

The length of your legs
half the length of your body
Above you, thinking of she
Above you, thinking of she
I knew I should leave

I said this before
and I thought that we agreed
The time before the last
The time before the last
Before the last time
Track Name: Selling Rope (Swan Dive To Estuary)
As I swan dive into the estuary, the birds do not flinch at my fall
They perch in the rafters, before, during, after: they do not notice me at all

As I float down into the estuary, wind cases my body in cool
I smell petrol fumes, see the smoke rise in plumes: the earth is one big fireball

Anecdote, lie
My own alibi
I've been telling jokes
Piled notes high
My own alibi
I've been selling rope

As I break the film of the estuary, the seaweed submerges my form
No passing cars stop, not a single jaw drops, as my wallet and keys sink before.
A splash all I left in the world

Once held a magpie in the palm of my hand and the blood in our veins flowed faster, as I'd planned
Got a heart full of love and a head full of more but a fist full of threads from the seams
and I saw a smile in that beak.

Oh I was a bird right then, one day I will be again
I've been telling jokes while selling rope to you

There's no ticker-tape, no golden gate
No carnival and no parade
Just one, one for sorrow